This is an absolutely brilliant and hilarious article. You have to have been following the financial meltdown to really “get” what he’s talking about. It also helps if you know what the original “The Cynic’s Wordbook” is all about.
One of my favorites:
GREEN SHOOTS, n. 1. The first signs of spring, often clobbered by summer’s heat and autumn’s rain. 2. A sign the economy is falling apart more slowly than previously thought. Related: DAISIES, PUSHING UP. See also THINKING, WISHFUL.
CREDIT-DEFAULT SWAP, n. loose translation from the original Latin “ubi mel ibi apes,” or “where there’s honey there are bees.” 1. A complex financial instrument vital to the functioning of a modern economy in the way it spreads risk among consenting parties. (Greenspan, A., pre-Sept. 2008.) 2. A complex financial instrument that nearly destroyed modern capitalism (Greenspan, A., post-Sept. 2008).